Yesterday I couldn’t sleep.  I was exhausting but my spirit wouldn’t quiet itself, so after hour three of restless tossing, I decided to turn on a light and read.  My reading material of choice was a thick workbook by Napoleon Hill called, How To Be Successful.  If you’re following me on Tumblr, or on Facebook, you already know that I have been feeling a little confused, or a better word would be defeated.  Naturally, when I picked up the book I looked for a chapter on self-acceptance.  No luck there – but there was a chapter on Failure which caught my eye. This chapter was everything I needed and more, which we can elaborate on another time. I’m writing to share one of the most beautiful things that I read while reading this chapter on Failure.  It has to be one of the most amazing poems I’ve ever read and I’m committing it to memory.  Please read and share it with everyone that you think needs it.

When Nature Wants A Man

When Nature wants to drill a man
And thrill a man,
And skill a man,
When Nature wants to mould a man
To play the noblest part;
When she yearns with all her heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall praise–

Watch her method, watch her ways!
How she ruthlessly perfects
Whom she royally elects;
How she hammers him and hurts him
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which only Nature understands–

While his tortured heart is crying and he lifts beseeching hands!–
How she bends, but never breaks,
When his good she undertakes….
How she uses whom she chooses
And with every purpose fuses him,
By every art induces him
To try his splendor out–
Nature knows what she’s about.

When Nature wants to take a man
And shake a man
And wake a man;
When Nature wants to make a man
To do the Future’s will;
When she tries with all her skill
And she yearns with all her soul
To create him large and whole….
With what cunning she prepares him!

How she goads and never spares him,
How she whets him and she frets him
And in poverty begets him….
How she often disappoints
Whom she sacredly anoints,
With what wisdom she will hide him,
Never minding what betide him
Though his genius sob with slighting and his pride may not forget!
Bids him struggle harder yet.
Makes him lonely
So that only
God’s high messages shall reach him
So that she may surely teach him
What the Hierarchy planned.

Though he may not understand
Gives him passions to command–
How remorselessly she spurs him,
With terrific ardor stirs him
When she poignantly prefers him!

When Nature wants to name a man
And fame a man
And tame a man;
When Nature wants to shame a man
To do his heavenly best….
When she tries the highest test
That her reckoning may bring–
When she wants a god or king!–
How she reins him and restrains him
So his body scarce contains him
While she fires him
And inspires him!
Keeps him yearning, ever burning for a tantalising goal–
Lures and lacerates his soul.
Sets a challenge for his spirit,
Draws it higher when he’s near it–
Makes a jungle, that he clear it;
Makes a desert, that he fear it
And subdue it if he can–
So doth Nature make a man.

Then, to test his spirit’s wrath
Hurls a mountain in his path–
Puts a bitter choice before him
And relentless stands o’er him.
“Climb, or perish!” so she says….
Watch her purpose, watch her ways!

Nature’s plan is wondrous kind
Could we understand her mind …
Fools are they who call her blind.
When his feet are torn and bleeding
Yet his spirit mounts unheeding,
All his higher powers speeding
Blazing newer paths and fine;
When the force that is divine
Leaps to challenge every failure and his ardor still is sweet
And love and hope are burning in the presence of defeat….

Lo, the crisis! Lo, the shout
That must call the leader out.
When the people need salvation
Doth he come to lead the nation….
Then doth Nature show her plan
When the world has found–a man!

About Angela Morgan (1875-1957)

Angela Morgan was born in Washington but moved to Kansas when his father started a business and a law practise that were both unsuccessful.

When her father left for Colorado in the gold rush fever, Angela and her sisters formed a music quartet with her brother as a manager to earn a living.  The group was disbanded when one of her sister died.  To support her mother and her sisters, she write for the Chicago Daily American.

Although she had held several positions in the literary world, her peers did not regard her as poets of rank.  She always moved from one place to another because of financial difficulties and was often dependant on generous benefactors to support her living.

In 1935 Angela Morgan had to declare bankruptcy.

Her poems and writings are full of hope and voice of optimism despite her financial problems. She died at Mount Marion, New York at the home of her friends.  Her papers that were stored in a warehouse in Philadelphia were later auctioned to pay for the storage fees.

About Tamala

Tamala is the creator of Soul Kisses TV and yearns to share inspirational content to help readers connect with the highest versions of themselves so they can ultimately lead their best lives.  Connect with Tamala and the SKTV community on Facebook, Twitter and feel free to sign up for weekly emails using the form to your right.

Whenever I buckle down and get serious about my health, green tea immediately becomes a part of my diet.  I personally like the taste (once I add some raw honey and lemon), but taste buds aside, green tea is great for you!  It’s huge in antioxidants whose main function is involved in the prevention of cellular damage — the common pathway for cancer, aging, and a variety of diseases.   That alone should have you running to your nearest store to pick up a box of green tea considering how rampant these man-made diseases are nowadays.  Nevertheless, if you still need a little more convincing, check out these awesome perks of drinking green tea before every meal:

1. Healthy Teeth and Gums: Get a Colgate smile the natural way by sipping on a cup of green tea!  According to a recent study, scientists concluded that participants that drank green tea had healthier teeth and gums, along with significant decrease in several indicators of periodontal disease (such as bleeding upon probing of the gum tissue).
2. Beautiful Clear Skin: Acne at any age is like a gnat that keeps coming back to your plate of BBQ at a picnic, no matter how many times your swat at it, move your seat, use one of those bug repellants – it simply persists!   In green tea, the catechins are anti-bacterial and they also regulate hormone activity. A study conducted in 2003 showed that green tea cream is as good as benzoyl peroxide cream, but without any side-effects.
3. Goodness for the Heart: Green tea has been shown to aid the body in its ability to burn off harmful forms of fat, preventing them from laying stagnant in the blood stream. Large scale studies done on green tea have associated it with long term heart disease prevention. A Japanese trial found that drinking at least four cups of green tea daily could lower the severity of heart disease in men (don’t grown, just drink before you eat or while you snack).
4. Digestive Aid: I can completely testify to this one right here!!!  Green tea is a natural and soft way to help with any digestion problems you may have.  Green tea is a well-known digestive stimulant. It reduces intestinal gas and may even aid in preventing and treating inflammation-based digestive disorders such as Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis, the two types of IBD.  Since I eat LOTS of veggies believe me when I tell you that green tea has helped me on several occasions.
5. Weight Loss: If you want to stop tugging at those persistent love handles, add green tea to the mix.  Many studies have indicated that green tea aids weight loss by preventing the growth of fat cells, specifically in the problematic abdominal area.

I have been drinking green tea for years and I must admit that I simply love the green tea by TAZO.  It’s a little bit expensive, but try to find it on sale because it’s a delicious specialty tea that are also gluten-free. Tazo teabags are made out of oxygen-whitened hemp cellulose and are not chemically bleached.  I am not endorsing them in anyway, just helping you to get on the green tea bandwagon.  No matter what brand you choose, try not to add sugar.  If you use a sweetener, use raw honey – it’s does the same thing and is better for you.

Happy drinking!

About Tamala 

Tamala is the creator of Soul Kisses TV and yearns to share inspirational content to help readers connect with the highest versions of themselves so they can ultimately lead their best lives.  Connect with Tamala and the SKTV community on Facebook, Twitter and feel free to sign up for weekly emails using the form to your right.

I am such a night owl that it really doesn’t make any sense that I am wide awake, full of life at 2 AM wanting nothing more than to write about this video I stumbled across early this Tuesday morning.  In addition to wanting to lose a significant amount of weight primarily because of the industry I chose to be in, eating 100% percent raw food is a means for me to feel closer to God.  Everyone goes through their ups and downs in life and I just happen to be going through one of my “breakdowns” – with some strange urge to document it right here on my blog (odd, much?).  Luckily, I have matured (somewhat) to know that with any sort of breakdown, some sort of beautiful “breakthrough” comes… eventually.  Eating foods that I pick from a local farmers market, or massaging fresh kale before I can eat it  and simply ensuring that everything I consume is full of life, is all part of my plan to heal.

The  funny this is that I already thought I had healed.  I thought I had let go of the failed relationships, the decisions I made the that didn’t necessarily serve my highest good.  Okay, now that I sit here thinking about it, that is not entirely true.  I let go as much as I needed to to in order to keep moving forward.  I can honestly say that there are several issues, or areas of my life that I am still holding on to on some level, which leads me to the entire point of this post.

During my late night inspiration, I came across a video that put an awesome spin on the importance of doing a cleanse.  The way she articulated how a cleanse serves a means of letting go physically truly resonated with me on this night.  I am ready to physically let go of all the hurts and pains that are keeping me from the love and peace I deserve.  At this moment I desire nothing but to be completely empty and how she correlates that with food is simply beautiful.

If you happen to be in a similar space, I invite you to check out this video.  Even though this video is almost 15 minutes long, it’s amazing how quickly it flies by… perhaps a part of me was so impressed with her kitchen and other activities that it distracted me (hey, good strategy) that I didn’t realize she had been speaking for another 6 minutes.  Let’s let go and empty ourselves together, so we can allow something greater to enter our atmosphere.

What are you holding on that you should release to allow for something/someone greater to enter into your life?

Tamala is the creator of Soul Kisses TV and yearns to share inspirational content to help readers connect with the highest versions of themselves so they can ultimately lead their best lives.  Connect with Tamala and the SKTV community on Facebook, Twitter and feel free to sign up for weekly emails using the form to your right.

you put your best foot forward and let’s be honest, putting your best foot forward means that you have to lose a little bit of weight, considering you are your canvas.”  This is what my best friend said to me when I called her after hours of not being able to console myself after getting cut at another non-equity tour.  I told her girls of different body sizes were kept, but I don’t think this was the point.  So I listened.  Actually, I cried some more and listened as she spoke to me as if angels were speaking through her.  It was everything I needed to hear and more (though I’m still down and hiding in my bed three days later).  She spent her Friday night consoling me and trying to help me change my perception of myself, which is invisible and not good enough.  It was after midnight when she told me she was hopping off to take a shower, but she didn’t leave without giving me instructions, which was to watch Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.  I was miserable, and wasn’t going anywhere so I did.

Today is day 3 and it is hard for me emotionally.  I haven’t let go of being cut from Hair so I have been laying in bed hiding from the world.  Hiding from my failure… yeah I know it’s the nature of the business but this is just one of those auditions that have rocked me in a way I haven’t been rocked (and not in a sexy way) in a long time.  I’m sure this will pass but right now I don’t want to move.  But I digress…. today is day 3 and I’ve lost a total of five pounds.  Five pounds of extra water, toxins and other terrible crap.  I have no desire to eat meat after watching another movie referred by Leeanna which is Food Inc.  I just need to work on loving myself for all it’s worth.

Tamala is the creator of Soul Kisses TV and yearns to share inspirational content to help readers connect with the highest versions of themselves so they can ultimately lead their best lives.  Connect with Tamala and the SKTV community on Facebook, Twitter and feel free to sign up for weekly emails using the form to your right.

It is so crazy to me how people would rather show off materialistic things that have NO value versus living a prosperous life and have bank statements to show really just how prosperous you are. The people bragging about how much money they have really are the broke people.  When you have money, you don’t have to say a word. People with money have a certain glow about them. Broke people have this fake chain wearing, bling bling glow about them that leaves a dirty green ring around their neck. Do not get caught up in the hype of having to “look” like you have money until you forget that there is really nothing in your pocket.

Ladies it is so ludicrous to carry a purse that costs hundreds of dollars but yet in still you have no money in it. Come on now, let’s do better. What about those new shoes you bought to wear to the club and you also have to walk in those same shoes back home because you have no car? Come on now, let’s do better. Why do you have to have a new outfit every other weekend and your child isn’t meeting the school uniform dress code? Come on now, let’s do better. You know how we quick to say MOE (money over everything)…It should be KOE (kids over everything)!!  Some major things ESPECIALLY your children should not have to go lacking because you are trying to impress others.

Men I can’t leave you all out. Every woman, notice I said woman doesn’t get easily impressed with rims now a days. I am not knocking if you do have rims on your car. Do what you know you can AFFORD.  However, if the rims cost MORE than the car, Houston we have a problem! If you are on Facebook and Twitter posting pictures of all the money you have but you can’t seem to get caught up on child support; Houston we have a problem! If every time a new pair of Jordan’s come out and you have to choose whether or not to get the shoes or pay your bills, Houston we have a problem! I’m going to need for you to get it together quick!

In conclusion, do not let jealousy take over you. Just simply be appreciative of what God has already given you. If you want more then make sure the motive behind wanting more is to better your life NOT to keep up with others. There is nothing wrong with wanting more or a better life. Just don’t lose who you are in the process of trying to obtain things. Money doesn’t guarantee happiness.

Jealousy stems from insecurity. Loving you and being happy with your own life is the only thing that will cure jealousy. Don’t let jealousy kill you. Disinfect before it spreads!!

In the Native American tradition the elders are respected for their knowledge and experience.  It becomes their responsibility to pass down their wisdom to the young.

The same should hold true for the rest of us who have achieved our “golden ages” whether Native American or not.  Yet it is quite a responsibility, isn’t it?  And a bit daunting to me, especially as I find myself transitioning from the realm of old to elder.  With the passing of my own parents and their siblings I am now the matriarch of our family: “she who must be respected and ready to pass down her knowledge to the children and grandchildren.”

What, then, is there that I can bequeath to my children and grandchildren?  Which pearls of wisdom do I possess that will help them as they travel their own paths?  And just how do I go about accomplishing this monumental task?

In my sixty-seven years here on Earth I have learned much about life and the people who inhabit my world.  I have studied all of the necessary subjects one is exposed to in school but now know that this was only the beginning of my knowledge base: that information which has come to me by being a part of the human race; of nature; of the Universe with all of its complimentary and conflicting parts, has been my real learning.

And the most important of those insights, the most imperative to bequeath to the next generations are the ones that have helped bring stability and joy to my own life: Acceptance and Love.

I have learned to accept that the world is constantly in flux and therefore my time here is bound to follow that same rocky path.  I have come to accept that not everyone will agree with my outlook on life, nor do they share the same value system, heritage and view of the future. But the greatest acceptance is that of my own being; my value here on Earth; my life with all of its twists and turns, my strengths and my weaknesses.  For, if I cannot accept myself I am defaming all that I stand for and all that I have meant to the world.

The difficulties and tragedies of life are certainly not things we embrace and love, but the gift of life is. As are the people who inhabit my own world.  I love my family and my friends and have finally grown to love myself.  For I have discovered that if I don’t do so I am thereby claiming myself to be someone not deserving of love.  How, then, can I expect others to love me?

These, then, are the two greatest pieces of wisdom I can pass on as the family elder.  And I have learned that I cannot do so by pushing or prodding, through pedantic teachings or tiresome lectures.  I can share these two pieces of wisdom by living them and, thus, being a positive role model for my children and grandchildren as they watch me travel my life’s path.

Will I affect the entire world with these “elder lessons” I wish to share? Probably not.  But as in the “butterfly effect,” a small change in one place can result in major changes elsewhere.  Living my positive attitude; my respect and love for others as well as myself, is that I, as the family elder, can impart to the generation following in my path.  And they, in turn, will pass it on to their future generations.

This is the lesson and the legacy I wish to leave.  I hope I succeed.

About C.J.

C.J. Golden, author of TAO OF THE DEFIANT WOMAN, and the award winning TAO-GIRLS RULE! is a freelance writer and motivational speaker who travels the country inspiring all with her dynamic spirit and vision as she helps others explore their unique journeys through life. She is an increasingly important voice in the field of women’s studies as her message resonates with women and girls everywhere.  Visit CJ and connect with other Tao and defiant women and Tao-Girls at www.taogirl.com

 By Ottavia Lang

Breaking up with a person, sometimes can be hard to do, especially when you really care for the person. Some relationships can be unhealthy.  So you ask this question…. How to let go?  Well, just say no.

Easier said than done I know. Been there, done that, writing an article on it.

So you ask how I got over my last relationship; with the one I so adored and loved with every breath of me.  It surely wasn’t easy.  I’ve had my heart stepped on and broken several times.  I tried to get “Mr. Fix It” to repair it but apparently he wasn’t a qualified mechanic.  I will admit some things to you. This article is straight from ME.

In the past I haven’t made the best decisions when it has come to men.  Somehow I always have a stamp on my forehead that says “All Dogs Apply”.  Several times I tried to remove that stupid stamp but it kept reappearing.  Why me?! Why me?!  Often times I would ask myself that question.  But now I know.  It was all learning experiences to teach others from my past failures.

So here is my relationship story in a nutshell.  Don’t judge me.  I’m not perfect.

Usually in the past I would have very long relationships.  I’m the type that would give 200% in a relationship and make it work no matter what.  Then reality hits and eventually some kind of distraction would come along to separate me from my “boo”.  I mean, what was I doing wrong?  I knew I wasn’t a gymnast or acrobat but I knew I had a few moves; just a few tricks up my sleeve.  Don’t act like I’m the only one.  Women have what I call an “emergency move”.  That is the move you bring out when you panic, when you think he is losing interest. But sometimes that move isn’t enough to save the relationship and to be quite honest it isn’t a relationship saver anyway.

After my relationships would end I would go find my “rebound guy” who eventually would turn out to be my next boyfriend.  Sad I know but my whole life I have done this pattern.  Break up, have 3 months down time, and then find somebody new.  Well, this last time I was bored with this pattern in my life so I decided to make a few changes.  I decided to get over my last boyfriend “cold turkey” with absolutely NO TURKEY! Ha ha.  I decided to try celibacy. Yes, celibacy. Cue the doom, doom, doom music.

I woke up one day and decided I have to stop this!  This isn’t healthy for me.  I have to learn how to be totally single.  Being single, doesn’t mean lonely.  Being single is actually fun if you know how to play the right games.  Get busy, and I don’t mean in the bedroom.  Get productive!  That’s exactly what I did.  I started focusing more on myself and my talents and I simply asked God to show me what to do.  That’s why I write.  It is therapy for me and hopefully therapy for you.

Find some time for yourself and ways to make yourself grow.  When temptations come to get back with the ex use these steps. STEP ONE: Just say “not today, maybe tomorrow”.  When tomorrow comes repeat step one. Keep repeating “not today, maybe tomorrow” every day until eventually you will have forgotten about ole “what’s his name”.

To let go, just say no to yourself every day until the temptations to go backwards won’t even be an issue anymore.  And YES, celibacy helps.  I still have those hot flashes but I am proud to say that I am coming up on my one year “sexiversary”.   April 9^th, 2012 will make one year for me.  Just less than a month away!  Please pray with me.  The flesh may be weak but my mind is stronger now and just like I can, I believe you can too.  Stay focused.  This article was straight from my heart.

About Ottavia Lang; who was born Ottavia S. Lang is a poet, writer, producer and filmmaker from Meridian, MS.  Writing has always been her passion since she was a young girl. Writing poetry was a hobby she developed and it soon became her favorite pastime. Her first poem was published at the age of 13 and soon after that she wrote her first unpublished poetry book at the age of 14. Now at the age of 26 she has not only continued to write poetry but also articles. She started her own website www.taylang.com to try to reach as many people as possible.  She recently completed the post production of her first short film entitled “Metamorphosis” which she wrote and produced. Writing is her talent, passion and no doubt a gift from God. With God by her side her only wish is to somehow affect people with her words and change the world one reader at a time. She describes the “realness” she portrays in her writing as simply “tough love”.  She encourages people everywhere to always keep God first, pay your tithes and offering and everything else will fall in line. If you have a dream, go for it. Believe in yourself even when it seems like no one else is on board with your vision. Do what it takes to see your dream become a reality. Faith without works is dead…so believe it and you will achieve it!

This morning I woke up to find my news feed full of updates regarding Nick Cannon and his autoimmune illness.  This may sound completely ridiculous but I am always surprised when a celebrity gets ill.  I guess that is in part due to the fact that celebrities are idolized in our society.  So after reading about all that is happening with Nick Cannon I did a little research and discovered that March is National Autoimmune Diseases Awareness Month.  If you follow Toni Braxon or watch Braxton Family Values, you know that Toni recently revealed that she has been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, along with other celebrities like Venus Williams, Kim Kardashian, and Lady Gaga among others bringing autoimmune diseases to the forefront.

The American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association (AARDA) is the only national nonprofit health agency dedicated to bringing a national focus to autoimmunity, the major cause of serious chronic diseases. Take a look at some of these staggering figures:

1. 50 Million Americans have an autoimmune disease, comprising a major U.S. health crisis.
2. There are 100+ autoimmune diseases including Crohn’s disease, celiac disease, rheumatoid arthritis (RA), vasculitis, and Addison’s disease.
3. Autoimmune diseases “cluster” in families; for example, if your grandmother had lupus, you could be at greater risk for developing an autoimmune disease.
4. Fewer than 13 percent of Americans can name an autoimmune disease.
5. Autoimmune diseases target women 75 percent more often than men; and combined, autoimmune diseases are one of the top ten killers of women under the age of 65.
6. Two of the most common autoimmune diseases are Hashimoto’s disease, which causes hypothyroidism, and is the main cause of an underactive thyroid in the U.S., and Graves’ disease, which typically causes hyperthyroidism.

AARDA’s President and Executive Director Virginia T. Ladd said, “Autoimmune diseases such as multiple sclerosis (MS), type 1 diabetes, and celiac disease have all been shown to be on the rise, but answers as to why these increases are occurring are yet unknown. However, it is imperative that the public be more aware of their own risk factors for developing autoimmune diseases so that, as symptoms occur, they can seek a diagnosis and begin a treatment regimen. Early diagnosis and onset of treatment can make a significant difference in someone’s chances of becoming disabled or suffering organ damage.”

This month the AARDA are sponsoring several events, including a Congressional Briefing on March 28, the AARDA’s Autoimmune Walk Campaign, led by campaign ambassador Kellie Martin (who starred in ER), and the AARDA inaugural awareness and fundraising walk on May 19 in Washington DC. More information about the National Autoimmune Diseases Awareness Month activities are available at AARDA’s Web Site at www.aarda.org.

If you have been paying attention to your Facebook timeline or any of your social media properties you have probably seen posts that say “Kony 2012″ or #stopkony and thought for a moment, who or what in the world is “Kony”.  Kony is short for Joseph Kony, a Ugandan warlord that is the force behind unspeakable crimes against humanity in the country.

Kony is the head of the guerrilla group Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA), which has kidnapped more than thirty thousand Ugandan children and forced them to become child soldiers, with one of their first tasks being that they kill their own parents.  Kony and his rebel army are responsible for thousands of murders, rapes and is notorious for disfiguring his victims throughout Central Africa. Kony and his rebel army have been around for years and on May 24 2010, President Barack Obama signed into law the Lords’ Resistance Army Disarmament and Northern Uganda Recovery Act, making it U.S. policy “to protect civilians from the Lord’s Resistance Army, to apprehend or remove Joseph Kony and his top commanders from the battlefield…and to disarm and demobilize the remaining LRA fighters.”  Despite these efforts, Kony has somehow been able to evade capture.

How could this be?  What is there left to do now that the government has sent in troops?

Help make him famous!  This year.  2012 and you can help.

Film maker Jason Russell for the group Invisible Children recently released a twenty-seven minute video about Kony and how you, me, your children, your neighbors can help bring this reign of terror to an end by simply leveraging the amazing power of social media.

The immediate goal is to spread the word about Kony and his crimes against humanity so that on April 20, supporters all over the world can unite in putting up posters where they live that call for Kony to be brought to justice. At the moment the posters read, “Kony 2012: ‘Stop at Nothing.’”

Invisible Children has put together an awesome Action Kit that is available at their website. If you want to know more about Joseph Kony, you can actually check out the 30-minute film by Jason Russell below and spread the word. Check it out if you haven’t already:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Photo by Jessica Simanowski

Are you ready to improve your life? Often times, we get sucked into thinking that we need to add things to our lives in order to improve them when the opposite is true; sometimes, you need to get rid of things to have a better life. The seven things listed below are things that many people tend to tolerate or simply ignore in their own lives, but by getting rid of them rather than tolerating them, you can make huge improvements to your life.

1. An Unhealthy Lifestyle

You don’t need to run a mile a day or follow the latest fad diet to live a healthy lifestyle, but if you’re struggling with obesity, smoking, or other unhealthy lifestyle indicators, it’s time to kick your unhealthy lifestyle to the curb. A recent report by the Centers for Disease Control notes some scary statistics about Americans, such as the fact that in 2007, 25% of deaths were caused by heart disease, which can be prevented with a healthy lifestyle! If you’re  ready to stop tolerating your unhealthy lifestyle, here are a some easy steps to take:

• Focus on getting eight to ten servings of fruits and vegetables in your diet each day. Just meeting that goal means you’re leaving less room for junk in your diet!
• Carry a water bottle and start drinking nothing but water or unsweetened tea during the day. You’ll be amazed at how much this one simple step helps.
• Invest in a pedometer, and aim to get 10,000 steps a day in. Steps you take during your everyday routine can really add up, and tracking them lets you know how many extra steps you need to take to have a healthier life.

2. Relationships That Drain You

Too many people live in draining relationships because they feel they have to, but you can let go of these relationships. Even if the people who drain you the most by being abusive, hurtful, unsupportive, or just plain ridiculous are your family members, there’s no moral or ethical law that says you have to remain in a close relationship with these people. Here’s how you can cut out relationships that are draining to you:

• First, you need to identify these relationships. It may not always be obvious which people drain you the most. Take inventory of how you feel after interactions with certain people, and if you feel angry or upset, consider cutting back on those interactions.
• One possible solution is to try to fix the problem. This may mean creating new boundaries for a person who is continuously in your space, or it may mean learning to communicate with someone better.
• If you can’t possibly fix the relationship (as is almost always true with an abusive relationship), get out of it. Even if your abuser is your own mother, you are not obligated to live in relationship with this person. If the draining relationship is with a family member, consider cutting out contact with that family member altogether, or only seeing him at essential family functions.

3. Too Much Drive Time

According to ABC News, the average American adult spends an hour and a half every day in the car. What else could you be doing with that hour and a half? Driving too much, especially in heavy traffic, can lead to road rage, lack of time at home, and even obesity, if you’re in the car so much that you’re constantly eating fast food. You don’t have to tolerate too much time in the car in your everyday life. Here are ways you can cut it out or at least make the most of it:

• If possible, cut your commute. Is it really worth living in the suburbs when you’re spending thousands of dollars on gas and hours in the car every day to get to your job in the city? Probably not. Move closer to your job, or find a job closer to where you live!
• If you do find yourself eating in the car often, then plan better. Pack meals that are easy to grab on your way out the door, and skip the drive through in favor of healthier homemade meals.
• Find ways to use your drive time to better yourself. Listen to books on your MP3 player, or get some relaxation CDs to help you unwind on your way home from work.

4. Clutter in Your Home and Office

A cluttered environment can lead to a cluttered mind, and it can make it awfully hard to find your car keys in the morning. If your home and office are overflowing with stuff, it’s time to cut back. Clutter is usually a case of too much stuff rather than not enough space. Choose to live simply and to free yourself from the extra junk you don’t need, and you’ll be amazed at what a difference it will make in your life. Follow these steps to de-clutter your stuff:

• Take a weekend and sort through all your things – your office, your kitchen, your closet, even your living room decorations. Make a pile of things you’ll definitely keep, things you might keep, and things you want to get rid of.
• After you’ve gotten rid of the last pile, put the “things you might keep” pile in boxes in a closet for two months. If you need to, you can go pull things out of the boxes as you need them. At the end of the two months, take everything left in the boxes to charity, since you obviously don’t need those things often, if at all.
• Once you’ve decluttered, work on organization, finding a place for everything you own.

5. Financial Issues

You can’t avoid all financial problems in your life, but if you have financial issues, you need to work to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Stressing over money is just not worth it. Here are some steps to take to cut out financial worries:

• Look at the best credit card deals. Not worrying about your finances starts by making good spending choices. You should be wary of using credit at all, but when you do use it, make sure you’re using a card that has low fees and that fits your lifestyle. You can also use credit card balance transfers to make paying down debt easier, if you can move high interest debt to lower-interest cards.
• Make a spending plan. Call it a spending plan or a budget or whatever you like, but whatever you call it, find a way to spend what you earn or less every month. Use credit only for big ticket items, and have a plan for paying them off as soon as possible. Taking control of where your money goes every month is incredibly empowering and can immediately lessen some of your financial stress.
• Have long-term goals. Long-term financial goals like saving for college or retirement are essential. Meet with a financial planner to set up some reasonable goals for yourself and your family as soon as possible.

6. A Job You Hate

It may seem like you have no other option but to continue working in a job you hate, but there are very few things more draining than spending forty hours a week or more doing something you don’t like or being around people you don’t like. Here are steps you can take to get rid of your hateful job:

• Figure out what you want to do. Find out where your talents and interests can fill a need in the world, and you’ll find your dream job. You may not land your dream job right away, but at least knowing what you want to do can get you started in that direction.
• Talk to someone who has your dream job to figure out how you need to get there. Whether you read a book or talk to an individual in the field you hope to go into, you’ll be able to get valuable information on education plans and more that will help you get into a job you’ll love.
• Make your current job more tolerable in the meantime. What would make your current job more tolerable right now? Maybe you need to be more challenged at work, or maybe you need to make different work friends. Maybe you just need to move closer to where you work, or cut back on your hours. Figure out what you can possibly do to make your job less hateful to you, and then take steps to make it happen.

7. Too Much Stress

Many of these other factors – broken relationships, financial woes, an awful job – can bring more stress into your life. Sometimes, though, stress comes from too much of a good thing. If you’re constantly on the go because you’re the life of the party or have a busy family to care for, you need to learn to unwind and kick some stress out of your life. Here are some suggestions to help you do that:

• Figure out where your stress comes from most of the time. If it’s one of the above listed things you shouldn’t be tolerating, get the problem fixed. If it’s simply because you’re too busy, then simply learn how to say no so that you can guard some alone time or some family time, whichever you need.
• Learn to relax when you can. Sometimes life just doesn’t slow down, no matter what you say no to. If this is the case with your life at the moment, then take the moments you have and learn to let go of your stress. Eat a chocolate. Take a bubble bath. Go for a run. Do what it takes to feel more relaxed and comfortable at the end of every day.

These seven things are unfortunately a huge part of many people’s lives, but you don’t have to live like this.

About Daniela Baker

Daniela Baker is a blogger at CreditDonkey, where she helps families compare credit card deals.  She is a mother of two trying to live life to its fullest.  If you’re tolerating, ignoring, stepping around, or failing to acknowledge stress, an overly long commute, a terrible job situation, broken relationships, clutter, financial issues, or an unhealthy lifestyle, just stop. You don’t need to tolerate these things. Find out where your problems lie, and fix them by cutting these seven unnecessary things out of your life.